#him and his fuckass heart

[cry-ptidd]

My (undead) heart beats for you!!

Redraw of that one Valentines Day Deadpool card by Patrick Brown.

[jellyshark-png]

oh, liu kang 💛

[swearingcactus]

Cassandra, and literally everyone in the Inquisition: the Champion of Kirkwall?! The guy who saved Kirkwall from Qunari invasion by agreeing to SINGLE COMBAT with the Arishok? Who was there day ONE of the mage-templar rebellion? A man among men, with wit and charm beyond parallel, AND the man who has KILLED Corypheus ONCE before; he's COMING to HELP us?!!?

The Champion of Kirkwall in Skyhold:

[kopifurann]

"Love, bluh, bluh, bluh"

[screampied]

VEGAS?? A GENSHIN PLAYER?? (Ar and favs?)

YESSSSSS (i don’t play genshin that much anymore 💔) but I DO PLAY 🫡 i am ar 56 !!! i would have been 60 but i literally dropped it bc the quests kept pissing me off ‘n confusing me 💀💀 i main the loml itto <3 i also main ganyu my favorite girl but my very first main was xinyan

MY FAVORITESSSSSS. itto’s always my number one favorite I LOVE HIM. his special events r always so sweet 🙂‍↕️ hmmm other favorites, maybe yae miko bc i pulled her at twenty pity and she still carried me in fights. but i also really love kaveh he’s so 😭😭😭 kaveh reminds me of satoru but blond

[mcytegg]

jumper cares for rek and ro so much ☹️☹️☹️

[robotsafari]

was trying to see if i could outclass a triple-a unreal engine game in the whimsy department (i think i did.)

[ohello0]

ERIC ADAMS INDICTED

[mushiver]

Fiddauthor in fanon is often doomed toxic unrequited type yaoi, and I DO love some angst, but y'all forget how much Ford loves that guy

"His brilliant mind and amusing quirks have made this task infinitely more enjoyable"

"One of the kindest hearts I've ever seen"

Sorry. From DAY ONE being roommates in college, he ran up to Fiddleford (after he'd been crying and wanting to leave) and was like "I won't sleep until I prove your theory!!"

He was so excited to work with him and be best friends. The adoration is unreal. Fuckass BILL got in his head and turned him against Fiddleford. They were so sweet to each other, and Ford wasn't selfish from the start, but Bill went all Frodo and Gollum on him and Ford screwed up bigtime because of it

"I'm sorry Fiddleford" had been on loop in his head for 30 years, I'm not over that

[peacheeeliz]

COMMUNITY

SYNOPSIS ⤏ mark, desperate to talk to the cute girl in his japanese class, forms a study group. who knew that other struggling college students might want to join a study group?

PARING ⤏ nonidol!mark x nonidol!fem reader

GENRE ⤏ smau, written, rom-com, fluff, college au, slowburn, mark is so down bad, but so is y/n eventually

FEATURING ⤏ mark, donghyuck, jaehyun, jungwoo, and johnny from nct 127, julie from kiof, kim jiwoong from zb1, minnie from idle, and allen from cravity (+ mentions of a TON of other idols)

FACECLAIM ⤏ faceclaim for y/n purely for picture purposes!! (@ 0ki0h on ig)

WARNINGS ⤏ swearing, sexual and kys/kms jokes, pls ignore timestamps 💔, mentions of jaehyun being a stoner, a bit of bullying, more to come

PLAYLIST ⤏ at least it was here, the 88 | 200, mark | red wine supernova, chappell roan | i wanna be yours, artic monkeys | dandelion, jaehyun | just for me, pinkpantheress | snap out of it, artic monkeys | urs, niki | right here, keshi | falling in love, cigarettes after sex

STARTED ⤏ 9/21/2024

STATUS ⤏ complete ♡

NOTE ⤏ community is literally my favorite sitcom, so when their tiktoks started popping up on my fyp, i couldn't resist making a smau inspired by it 🥴

PROFILES & CHAPTERS

STUDY GROUP | MEAN GORLS | BIBLE STUDY

prologue. try it bite it lick it spit it

episode 1. community

001. i could literally kiss u

002. i love ur brother too (469 wc)

003. they're not soundproof (1046 wc)

004. what the fuck am i chopped liver (653 wc)

episode 2. fundamentals of accounting

005. seize the day

006. DAY SEIZED (821 wc)

episode 3. psychology of personality

007. the apple of my eye

008. thanks soso much

009. alpha i need you......

episode 4. problems in history

010. WHY NTO

011. GYATT DAMN

012. u told me u kissed him

013. she's so crazzzzzzzy

episode 5. self defense & combatives

014. hyuck :((

015. old barbie movies??

016. friday. three o'clock. right here. (539 wc)

017. the what on friday?

018. beat his ass mark (1039 wc)

episode 6. heating laboratory

019. concrete jungle

020. love at frost sight

021. OHHHH WHAT THE FUCK

episode 7. survey of characteristics

022. FREAKISHLY YOUNG??

023. except ur both stupid

024. (not stupid ☝️)

episode 8. intro to media communication

025. uu feel lile home

026. i wish i waa qith u

027. why does my heart still feel heavy

episode 9. critical thinking

028. we need to talk

029. am i stupid (639 wc)

030. snap out of it

031. my favorite study buddy

episode 10. team sports

032. fuckass burger

033. i gotta piss (1107 wc)

034. zombie by the cranberries (1497 wc)

035. my jellies are tingling... (1073 wc)

036. these kids are so weird,,, (1474 wc)

episode 11. human relations

037. stupid ass friends

038. FYM SADLY??

039. i love you man (1925 wc)

040. meet me at the apateu, apateu

041. my favorite part of the year 🩷

☆©peacheeeliz, 2024

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ taglist is closed!

[blue-jisungs]

dandelion

author's note. i saw those pics and howled how is he so husband coded..... also decided to post this on his e word day to cheer up us all:(

summary. you feel a little down when your husband seems interested in another woman... but maybe that's your pregnancy causing unnecessary drama in your head

warnings. reader is pregnant<3 slight angst bc reader is hard on herself regarding her looks:( jealousy + mentioned drinking (not reader!!!! never drink while pregnant!!!!), haechan being a lil mean but he doesnt mean it lmao

word count. 1582

jaehyun was helping in the kitchen and laughter was booming from the room whereas you and the others sat in the living room, waiting. 

“the food was so good” you sighed dreamily, rubbing your tummy in a satisfied motion and a  huge smile. 

“i bet she liked it too, huh?” jungwoo snickered, pointing at your stomach.

“oh yes she did. she’s a meat lover after daddy” you giggled and patted your baby bump gently. 

“you inhaled that bbq, we thought there’d be nothing left” haechan giggled and mark nudged his elbow.

“dude!” he hissed, sending you an apologetic smile. 

you just scoffed, shaking your head. 

“no, no, he’s right. it’s the baby you know. sorry” you mumbled and yuta plopped down next to you. 

“don’t apologize, he’s just not too much of a thinker” he teased and rubbed his own stomach too “man, i’m full”

“drinks!” doyoung waltzed into the room, balancing a platter. the ice in the elegant glasses clinked, colorful beverages shining in the sun falling through the huge window. 

johnny put down a bowl of chips. 

“ah, i’ve been waiting for that” yuta hummed like a purring cat and snatched the drink the second doyoung placed them down. 

“and an orange juice for a special lady” jaehyun appeared in front of you and handed you the glass. it had ice and a paper umbrella in it, a slice of lemon adorning the edge. 

you sent him a soft smile, puckering your lips in a pout. that’s a habit you developed ever since your pregnant belly started being too restrictive. it was a sign for ‘i wanna kiss you but i can’t move’

he leaned closer and planted a sweet kiss on your lips, knowing what you meant. 

“i wanna drink too���” you joked, pouting like a kicked puppy. 

“one more month baby” jaehyun said softly, sending you a reassuring smile. 

the evening went on, chatting and joking accompanied by the football match they were watching. 

you were slowly dozing off, partly paying attention to what they were saying. 

“y/n is almost as round as the ball now, look!” donghyuck giggled and your eyes snapped open at the mention of your name. 

“i wonder if your belly if bigger than a ball… i’d say it’s rather a basketball size, huh?” jungwoo pondered. 

a bitter pang overtook your heart. you know they didn’t mean it to sound rude but you couldn’t help but wonder if you’re really that… big… and round… and apparently so easy to target, too. 

jaehyun caught your unfazed expression and clicked his tongue. 

“you remind me of a ball too. your fuckass big head–“ he joked at haechan and everyone laughed, including you. 

and when you went to the bathroom, you missed jaehyun taking the youngest to the side. 

“do we have everything, baby?” your husband asked, pushing the cart. you looked at your notes, not even halfway checked. 

“we barely entered the mart” you grunted and looked up at him. his dimples poked in a boyish smile. 

“anything you’re craving right now, misses” he teased and you rolled your eyes. 

you may or may have not sneaked some of your pregnancy cravings into the cart but you didn’t think he’d notice. 

“shut up. it’s our girl, not me” you huffed dramatically and wrapped your hands around his arm. 

suddenly, a pretty girl appeared in the aisle. she had long, silky blonde hair and was wearing a really cute outfit. it displayed her long legs and the crop top she was wearing exposed her flat stomach. her face was perfect, makeup glowing like a model. 

you sulked upon seeing her figure. you missed your old body. you missed being able to walk around in outfits like these. hell, even fitting in jeans was out of your reach now. 

you realized that when she passed you by, jaehyun turned his head to look at her. 

wave of sadness washed over you, slowly letting go of his arm. you didn’t blame him, though. you were nothing compared to her. big belly, no makeup, hair in a normal ponytail. you haven’t dressed up in a while – and even if you did, you wouldn’t look like you would before. 

“i don’t feel too good. i’ll go back to the car” you mumbled, feeling like crying. you wanted to hide from the world… from your own husband. 

jaehyun’s features dropped in instant worry, turning to you.

“are you okay? i’ll drive you home. do you need to see a doctor?” he asked, panic in his voice. 

“i’m… no, i’m fine! just finish the shopping, ill wait in the car” you grunted and gave him your phone with the list, turning around on your heel. 

he has never ran enough a grocery shop so fast in his entire life. 

after almost sprinting to the car and loading the bags, he hopped in and scanned your face in search of pain. there was always a risk of you giving birth sooner than expected so he was just extremely cautious. 

he noticed your swollen eyes and wet tears. maybe it was just the hormones, it’s not like you haven’t cried before because he just killed a fly. (“what if that fly was pregnant too? what if it was a working father? what if–”) 

he started the car and reached out to grab your hand. you just played with his fingers to ease your nerves, a silent drive home. 

for the past two days jaehyun had a feeling that you were avoiding him. you’ve been either sleeping all day or hiding away in your bedroom. 

at the end of the day jaehyun decided to talk to you. but upon walking into the room, he saw you sitting at the edge of the bed. your loose shirt was slightly up, your fingers tracking red stretch marks on the side of your stomach. 

“hey baby, what’s up?” he hummed, walking up to you “we haven’t talked in a while, hm? everything okay?” 

you sighed and just pulled the shirt down, covering your belly completely. 

“look at me pretty, come on” he was starting to get worried. kneeling down to settle between your looks, he noticed your teary eyes.  

“i just feel so gross, you know?” you mumbled, gently rubbing your tummy. jaehyun sighed softly, relieved to hear that you’re not in physical pain. he put one of his hands on your knee, rubbing it in a soothing motion “like i know it’s inevitable but everyone keeps making comments and… and i just miss my old body. it may never be the same… and… it’s just dumb”

“don’t listen to haechan, he’s still a kid. he doesn’t know what he’s talking about” jaehyun said, trying to ease the tension 

“i saw the way you looked at the girl, in the store” you mumbled, lips quivering. he furrowed his brows and realization hit him like a ton of bricks. but before he could explain, you went on “and i get it, i’m so ugly now, i don’t even dress up. i can’t even put anything else than sweatpants… and don’t even mention heels. i get you.”

“oh honey… she had a cute outfit, that’s why i looked. i think you have a similar top, by the way. but also, i agree, i turned my head but… her face seemed familiar. you know that it was johnny’s ex?”

“what?” you asked, finally looking at him. the cute dimple smile painted his cheeks as he nodded.

“yeah. i just, i don’t know, was so shocked it was her so i just turned around. but not to check her out or anything. because you are–” he started.

“wait, the one with a foot fetish?!” you asked suddenly. 

jaehyun snorted loudly, hanging his head low. and here he was about to be romantic.

“yeah, her” he snickered and looked back up “but my point is, i only have my eyes on you. we both knew that pregnancy will change your body and i admire you so much. you’re so strong. and just know that, whether or not you will go back to your shape… the stretch marks will stay… will grow old and wrinkled… i will love you. those things don’t matter to me”

you shook your head and pulled the shirt over your face, something you did when too embarrassed to cry. and you did, small sobs choking out from under the material.

“you look beautiful to me. you’re carrying our baby girl and you really glow, to me” jaehyun said and stood up, hands going to rest on your shoulders.

“i love you” you cried and put your shirt down only to wrap your hands around his waist and sob into his shirt. he rubbed your skin in a calming way. 

“i love you more, pretty girl” he whispered into your hair.

after you’ve calmed down he helped you lay down and tucked you in. jaehyun laid down next to you and rested his head on his hand, adoring you with a soft smile.

“got it? you’re the prettiest” he hummed and placed a soft kiss on your lips. then, his hand sneaked to lift your shirt a bit.

he traced the red stretch marks with a feather-light touch and then put his hand gently on your belly. he felt small movements and warm feeling spilled over his heart.

“and i bet she’ll be equally beautiful, my little dandelion” your husband whispered softly. and you couldn’t help but grin, looking at his whipped state.

nct masterlist | event masterlist

taglist. @l3visbby ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @planetkiimchi ,, @mon2sunjinsuver ,, @w3bqrl ,,

@eternalgyu,, @haecien ,, @slytherinshua + event: @rubywonu

[carlyraejepsans]

would you be okay pitching ghost trick to someone who doesn’t rly know anything about it? i’ve heard of it before and that it’s good but idk why, and i don’t really get a lot out of advertisements or game descriptions

you know the toby-typical campiness in how he writes his characters in UTDR? over the top, extremely iconic, clearly working from preestablished tropes but doing his own special spin on them? put toby fox on acid and you've got shu takumi's writing style.

ghost trick isn't "just" good. ghost trick is the type of good that invents a whole new categorization for itself. ghost trick invented a situation to put little fictional bitches in that is so good, the most popular works in the tag are people from other fandoms being like "oh shit, let me put MY fictional bitches through in this situation as well"

it is one of the most hooking, satisfyingly delivered mysteries I've ever seen in a videogame. there is not a single second of the game that feels unutilised, everything pushes you forward in the mystery, and still it never feels choking. the way it handles tension and delivers its information is phenomenal. if this were a normal recommendation i would start talking about the gameplay and how fun and good it feels to play and how genuinely clever it is but you're not here for that, are you, so let me tell you the real selling point: every single character in this game is fucking insane. not a single one of them is normal. it's a noir. it's a parody. it's an animator's wet dream. my friend is playing the game on stream and they said his fiancée can tell when we're streaming because she can hear him doing his pathetic man voice on call.

listen to me. you will fall in love with sissel. i played One Shot earlier this year. i thought i was never going to find a game with a protagonist that crawled into my heart as much as niko. i was wrong. jesus christ i was wrong. you need to understand, this is a puzzle game. once you know the answers that's it for the gameplay. the replay value is extremely low. I have replayed it 5 times in three weeks just to make the wrong choices and watch what sissel says and quips about it. he's my guy. i need to hold his face in my hands. you will see his fuckass red suit, you will see his fuckass banana hair, you willl see his goofy little smile and his dirk strider ass sunglasses and you will whimper like a DOG because you miss him so much. i am missing him right now as we speak. fuck.

play ghost trick.

[thefriendlypigeon]

Jesus Christ that dude was menacing. Standing just shy of the rain pouring down from the overhang. Like he didn't even feel it. Yeah alright I was looking at him way too long now, shit- "Where do you think you're going?" that voice, tinged with a dangerous edge, sent shivers down my spine. Heart pounding, my nervous ass was trying to sidestep, but that man's presence was pulling me in, commanding attention and fear in equal measure. "Home. Just trying not to fucking drown in the rain, man" That asshole's eyes never even blinked and locked onto me like I was the one trying some shit. "Have I seen you before?" "Absolutely not." Why couldn't I shut up and just walk away- "Stop lying." "I'm not?" ....have I seen him before? How the fuck was his hand on my shoulder without me noticing- "Let's wait until this fuckass weather chills down and then we can go home? Do you smoke?" I didn't. I took a drag and almost died coughing. He just laughed. That's when I noticed the blood stains underneath his collar.

Little cringe fanfic for my artwork 😀

Demon!Dean out there bothering people again lol

Prints available here!

👉COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN👈

[my social media links]

[jambalaya-enthusiast]

dude- i keep thinking about how the crew would react to reader just flirting with them randomly then cutting themselves off and just saying “WHAT WHO SAID THAT”

MAN THESE GEN Z PEOPLE—Crew Members x Reader who flirts with them and randomly yells WHO SAID THAT???

a/n: sorry guys, ik I've been late on this, especially sorry anon, this ask has been in there for WEEKS now. long story short, life happened. Im not graduating this year, my brain made me do not fun stuff which ended in me getting a concussion and being put on new meds. I chose the meds cuz it was either this or a trip down to the psych ward. tmi sorry lol. dw I'm back to writing tho.

warnings: none, goofy ahh fic

CURLY

He is one those himbos who is also kind of a country bumpkin so he's just confused above all else.

Whenever you flirt with him he is always smiling ear to ear.

"damn curly you're so hot, but i could still eat you without breaking a sweat–,

"awh y/n that's—

"WHO SAID THAT?????"

curly 404 has stopped working

he doesn't understand any gen z memes so he'll just stare at u like this: 😀?

JIMMY

annoyed. plain simple annoyed.

he is no better than curly, "memes are for people who have time for enjoyment". Ahh

He'll be grinning, being proud how you're skirting with him and then you go with that fuckass loud yell.

"jimmy you should let me borrow a kiss ;)".

"you know damn right, c'mere-

"WHO SAID THAT..WHO SAID THATTTTT?????".

Y/N WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Is annoyed for the rest of the day,

"this is why you don't get kisses you dork ass moron".

ANYA

Her heart just drops in her stomach whenever you yell that in her face😭

You've done it so many times yet she always somehow falls for it.

"Anya you're so sweet i could eat you up anytime".

"hehe y/n you're so–

"WHO SAID THATTTTT????"

she'll just drop on the spot 😭

SWANSEA

He has made you sign a literal written agreement that you will not be pulling off that stupid stunt any further.

Gets extremely fucking annoyed like you can see it on his face.

"lookin' damn fine swanbae ;)– WHO SAID THAT??????

"I am going to SMACK you kid".

Doesn't talk to you for the rest of the day

DAISUKE

You both compete with each other in order to see who can catch the other off guard the most in a day.

So the other crew members basically hear the disembodied yells of WHO SAID THAT throughout the day.

Swansea sometimes has to put you both on timeout when it gets out of control.

[tranceinnumerabletabs]

When Johnny Comes Back

A/N: I read this and was inspired to write. I hope anyone who sees this enjoys it. Tell me if you'd like a part two.

Roommate!Johnny that made It feel inevitable.

He was just so…so….him! His bastard attitude, his fuckass Mohawk he made you like tolerate, his motherfucking Shrek accent. No, you won’t stop calling it that. It’s stupid and silly which is why you smile or look down when he talks to you, no other reason. 

You’ve just…grown so fond of Johnny! ugh! How could he! The fondness grows in your heart like a cancerous growth with the only respite coming in the form of Johnny…..of.. Soap going on deployment for long periods of time, making you feel like a young doe-eyed maiden in the 1940s wistfully awaiting the return of her man from the war. The feeling only exacerbated every time you check to see if Sergeant John “Soap” Mactavish has send back a letter. 

Yes, a letter

Security restrictions, he says. As if that makes the feeling of being hooked on him easier to mask as you sit down and physically write to him that you’re……checking on him. 

(Why don’t you perfume the letter and kiss it while you’re at it Simp) 

But you know these feelings will go back to being strong when Johnny comes back. As soon as you hear the “honey I’m home!” And get crushed in the arms of a clingy Johnny you’ll be happy to see him.

You decide to be generous and send him a care package, as a thank you to all the times he’s ordered you breakfast and took care of you when you were sick, better now than when Johnny comes back, you suppose. You remember all he does when he’s here. Especially when you were sick he insisted on spoon feeding you like a baby. He ruffled your hair so gently as he coos that you’re the most adorable chipmunk, all puffy faced and squeaky. You remembered how you huffed, too weak to properly go off or even refute his incessant desire to hand feed you. He smiled and chuckled at your frowny and pouty tired face. He rubbed your back and beamed when you were well enough and no longer irritated at him enough to thank him for taking care of you. You remember that adorable look in his face. And you want to see it again when Johnny comes back, that roguish smile with slightly crooked teeth scrunching up a nose that clearly looked like it was broken one too many times, those shiny blue eyes that gripped you like vice, thos-

BZZ! 

Some notification from your phone brings you back to reality, what were you doing again? Oh yeah, making a care package. You check your phone, nothing important. 

You look at what you’ve added so far.

You first packed a bottle of scotch, technically against the rules but you put it inside a flask and shampoo bottles. You know he’ll figure it out…probably. 

Then you packed some candy he likes, instant coffee (better than what he gets), the letter you wrote him, it felt too romantic and like you really were a yearning maiden staring at the window awaiting your man so you made sure you called him a bastard at least 6 times, a dog 4, and a cunt 2 and Shrek once

And yet, as you try and place the letter you still feel shy, as if it’s still too personal. It still has the fondness you feel for him as you wrote how worried you are and that “you better not do anything stupid Johnny! Don’t die or I’ll make sure to sell your ashes to the British museum as Ancient Highlander Remains” you became more embarrassed about your feelings without him here to convince you of it’s normalcy by being overbearing. you hide it under some items as if that won’t allow him to find it anyway. You place some hygiene products, hand sanitizer, another scotch just in case, an adorable picture of your grumpy black cat with a RBF that Johnny named Simon for some reason. Should you add another scotch? Nah you could share this one when Johnny comes back. 

You chuckle to yourself, okay now you’re spoiling him. When Johnny comes back he’ll be all smug and egotistical, boasting loudly about how much you missed him and how he’ll definitely use this as a way to embarrass you in front of your friends again.

You try to calm your heart in these times. You try to quell the craving of a soft body on movie nights, but a pillow near his residual scent on the couch doesn’t ruffle your hair like you’re a pet like he does. You try not to yearn a bastardly attitude when you want to complain about something, but there’s no one there to be a bigger problem than the one you were upset about. 

You sigh, at least you could sleep in your bed after a movie instead of upright on a pyromaniac Scottish lad. 

He never gives concrete dates on his return. It’s always a vague timeframe like “a few months” or “when it’s done”  

It’s…part of the reason you think you’d never end up with him. You thought about his absence, his risky lifestyle, his fuckboy attitude. 

You sigh…at least you’ll have more to catch up on when Johnny comes back. 

Part 2

[amoeganism]

TEAM PLAYER isagi yoichi

You're fed up with the evil Blue Lock boys getting special treatment from your Evil best friend because your Evil best friend isn't Evil with you. You’ll do whatever it takes to satisfy your masochistic heart in whatever freakish ways you come up with because communicating and confessing is overrated.

i love my insane boyfriend

There's been something strange going on with you and Isagi can't quite place his finger on it. Yes, he had been away at Blue Lock for a number of weeks, but he thinks that it shouldn't impact your personality to change the way it did. You might be his closest friend and confidant, one of the most treasured people in his life, but you’re currently acting like a freak and frankly, it’s making him really uncomfortable.

As you place your foot on the park bench to retie your shoelaces, Isagi scans your body up and down. No new bruises, no broken bones, no visible injuries, but that doesn't rule out the possibility of some newly developed mental issues because why else would you suddenly be so rude? Yoichi had been hoping that you, his sweet best friend, would be a much needed break from the mental illness fandom that was Blue Lock but it seems like insanity is a disease and you somehow caught it from watching TV. Going to noisy arcades with flashing lights in a dimly lit space, trying overpriced and sickly sweet desserts at trendy cafes, and simply taking walks together under the dappled shade of cherry blossom petals were all things Yoichi had missed amidst the chaos and stress that came with the incredibly competitive atmosphere of Blue Lock.

Yet here you were, not fully meeting him face-to-face but rather side-eyeing him with a condescending stare beneath hooded eyes and raised brows. With a thud, you slumped onto the bench and crossed your arms.

“I thought you were kidnapped before you suddenly appeared on T.V. and not just any T.V., some fuckass display one at the department store. What’s up with that?” you inquired with a pathetic pout disguised into a sneer that Yoichi found slightly goofy. “You’re like a deadbeat cunt.”

“I didn’t know that they were gonna kidnap my phone and basically trap me in there while jeopardizing my athletic career!” Yoichi exclaimed, throwing his hands down onto his lap with a groan. “Also, why do you look like that? You look really stupid.”

With a slight twitch of your lip, the smallest of grins formed on your face, unfolding into a gleeful, creepy smile. “Heh. That was really hot, can you do that again?”

“Excuse me?”

You kick your feet back and forth a couple times, nodding your head side to side like a cheap bobble head toy. Continuing to smile at him with bright and expectant eyes, you explain, “Y’know, what you just said was like how you verbally abuse dudes in Blue Lock.”

With a choked cough and dry wheeze, vibrant red covered the tips of his ears and spread into his cheeks. Breaking eye contact, he turned his head away from you as all judgement left his system, leaving the remnants of pure embarrassment. A hand covering his face was the only thing serving himself a sense of comfort as he wallowed in the consequences of losing his shit during broadcasted soccer games.

“Listen,” Yoichi panicked, trying his best to save face. “Everything on Blue Lock was not real, it’s a scripted reality show. Everything you saw was Evil Isagi Yoichi. I am Real Isagi Yoichi. Evil Isagi Yoichi was created in a lab by Ego Jinpachi and is not a reflection of myself.”

“I’m in love with Evil Isagi Yoichi,” you wistfully sigh, clicking your tongue on the roof of your mouth like a cringey cartoon character.

“I lied, I’m actually Evil Isagi Yoichi. That was just a test for you to prove your absolute devotion to me.”

The way you smiled at him was unnerving and the glimmer in your eyes should have unsettled him but Yoichi found himself and his heart melting at your insanity. His cheeks were no longer red out of embarrassment from his diabolical language but the soft kiss you placed on his cheek and teasing pats to the side of his face, making a grin of his own match yours.

“Call me ‘babe’ and I’ll kill you, I only accept derogatory language,” you whisper into his ear.

Like a dream come true, his freak has been (concerningly) matched.